is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
