i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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