I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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