You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize