Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
