I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
