and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
