is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize