My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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