Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
