You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
MIDGETS
????
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
