her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
