I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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