Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize