i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
there is glitter all over my balls
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
