is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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