im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
