sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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