first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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