Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
