youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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