I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
