I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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