If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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