so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
