what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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