we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize