He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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