Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
