You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
