Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
