Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
