I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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