Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
