Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
operation harelip BJ is a go
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
