what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
