You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Houston, we have a squirter
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize