I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize