Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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