i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
