he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
