i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
