after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
