Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
