you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
