I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
