look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
