I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
last night I used snow as a chaser
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