so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
