i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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