ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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