Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
