Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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