i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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