His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm always down for nudity.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
