You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
