ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
