omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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