let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
