I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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