He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nobody cheats on THIS.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
